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The Queer Art of Failing Better
The basic formula has barely changed: five gay men in an SUV descend on one hapless, shlubby, usually straight guy and sort his life out. The men typically featured as the show’s reclamation projects remind me of some of the men who I see on Tinder, sitting on that touring reproduction of the Iron Throne, staring into the middle distance, while in their real lives, and certainly on Queer Eye, they sit on ugly, painful furniture, faux-leather recliners that damage their backs, couches soaked in cat urine. Some of the men selected for lifestyle makeovers in this show are men I’ve known and loved-not as individuals, but as archetypes. Straight men have not been quite so keen to work out how to be their own wives-to provide themselves with all the things that women have been scripted to supply for them throughout the sorry run of Western patriarchy. These men are not marginalized, but they are nonetheless living in the margins of the lives they had perhaps expected.
The whole show is curiously unerotic, despite the constant on-screen presence of beautiful, charismatic men explicitly and relentlessly defined by their sexuality. The truth is that it’s frightening outside the comfort zone of most straight, cis, able-bodied men who were told they deserved the world. Where men are allowed to cry and take care of one another, and you are allowed to throw out all of the things that hurt you: the old furniture, the broken bed, the worn-out expectations of a world that never wanted you anyway. Culture has largely moved on from insisting to straight people that gay people are cool and fun, every single one, and that maybe they should be allowed human rights on that basis-and thank goodness, because we’ve had quite enough of gay men and women having to court jester the whole damn world just to be allowed to exist on something like their own terms. We will have come a long way when there’s more room in culture for gay men who are not consistently charismatic and fabulous-or who, if they are, don’t feel obliged to sprinkle that same glitter on people who despise them.
What Queer Eye in its modern incarnation makes clear is that for a great many straight men, their designated comfort zone is a miserable place to be. It is not queer people’s job to save straight people from the sinking ocean liner of heterosexuality any more than it is the job of women to save men from lifetimes of loneliness and rumpled jean shorts.